看老友记学俄文

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103 The One With the Thumb

写在日前的话

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]

看老友记学葡萄牙语那些种类已经到第十三期了,有些人说,人与人矮小的反差是智力商数的差异,最大的差异是坚韧不拔的差距。在中年人的征途上可知坚持做一件事确实特别主要,况兼坚持不渝不是不足为训的百折不回,而是有办法地去百折不挠。那么方法怎么找呢?

Phoebe: (entering) Hi guys!

上学不能够等,要在行动的经过中查找办法

All: Hey, Pheebs! Hi!

若果你先花上五日时间认真地商量到底应该怎么学英文,而且做了二个周密而又详细的安排,那么四日之后和您一同起来学塞尔维亚(Serbia)语的伴儿恐怕早就经记熟几百个单词了,而你却发掘你花了八日做出的安插并不合乎您的骨子里学习状态,要求推倒重来。然后您又花了八日,做了三个新的上学布置,那样直接下去,必然是把日子都浪费在了做未有用的布置上去了。

Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how’d it go?

本身觉着在就学那事上,最佳是单方面奉行一边总结学习方法,并非先做出一套方法来再拿来去执行。因为当您推行过以往自然会发觉怎么的法门好用,什么样的议程不好用,好用的措施就能够百折不回下去,倒霉用的本来就能够甩掉。

Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said ‘We
should do this again!’

互联网上有比很多大神介绍本人的就学格局,我们都得以拿来品尝,假诺试后发掘符合本身,那最棒可是了。假诺试后开采不相符自身就可以去试新的章程。如同一条路同样,本来从没路,是在不停地品尝以后,走得多了,才成了路。

All: Ohh. Ouch.

拿自家自身视作三个例证。笔者刚开始背单词的时候是拿着词典背的,因为及时看了新东方洪泰基金联合创办人俞敏洪的发言,他说她背单词便是拿一本词典从a最初背,平素背到最后一页。小编看完他的演说现在热血沸腾,也最初背词典,结果才背了两页就背不下来了,首要缘由是某个单词太多生僻,平日生活中一贯用不到,小编一边背一边妄想以后会用到这么些词的机率,当本人意识太小的时候,大致就从不引力了。所以笔者就放任了这种背单词的秘诀。

Rachel: What? He said ‘we should do it again’, that’s good, right?

新生有一段时间听了别的二个大神的享用,作者又起来听VOA,
而且笔者会把材质都打字与印刷出来,标志出富有的生词,然后天天都记。笔者记念当时上班的时候开会前自个儿都会拿出来记多个单词。结果有贰次小编听了一篇有关珍惜野生动物的简报,然后初叶记里边的生词。多个同事见状本身正在记
“北美泽鹿”
这么些单词,二个对另多少个说,“看人家多下武功”。另叁个说,“笔者才不记这种单词呢,浪费时间”。作者立即听了就好像棒喝,猛然发现自身恐怕又找错了样子。VOA里边的大非常多材质也是侧向于社会,政治,自然情况,和我们的活着也可以有早晚的离开。不是说不可能学,而是应该先学好常用的,再去学那个相比较客观。所以本人也遗弃了这种学习方法。

Monica: Uh, no. Loosely(n. without regard to specific details or
exceptions) 
translated ‘We should do this again’ means ‘You will
never see me naked’.

直到以后笔者选取了看美国大片学葡萄牙语的不二秘籍。它的剧情都以和大家的活着有关,所以用到的都是频频词汇,并且仍能学习特出的表明方法,具体方法能够参照笔者前边写的看老友记学葡萄牙共和国语(007) –
如何把克罗地亚语学习轻便融合到平日生活中去
。当然假若在行路的进度中自身再遭遇更加好的方法,小编还大概会果决决然地随着去尝试。

Rachel: Since when?

上面就随即学习老友记吧。

Joey: Since always. It’s like dating language. Y’know, like ‘It’s
not you’ means ‘It is you’.

103 The One With theThumb

Chandler: Or ‘You’re such a nice guy’ means ‘I’m gonna be dating
leather-wearing alcoholics ( [,ælkə’hɔlɪk] n a
person who drinks alcohol to excess habitually) 
and complaining about
them to you’.

[Scene: Central Perk,everyone but Phoebe is there.]

Phoebe: Or, or, y’know, um, ‘I think we should see other people’
means ‘Ha, ha, I already am’.

Phoebe:(entering)Hi guys!

Rachel: And everybody knows this?

All:Hey, Phoebes! Hi!

Joey: Yeah. Cushions [‘kʊʃən] 缓和…的冲击 the blow
(n.打击)
.善意的鬼话

Ross:Hey. Oh, oh,how’d it go?

Chandler: Yeah, it’s like when you’re a kid, and your parents put
your dog to sleep安乐死
, and they tell you it went off
爆炸,离去
to live on some farm.

Phoebe:Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said ‘We
should do this again!’

Ross: That’s funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did,
uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.

All: Oh h. Ouch.

Monica: Uh, Ross.

Rachel:What? He said ‘we should do it again’, that’s good, right?

Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners’ farm in Connecticut (n.
/kə’netikət/爱达荷(U.S.A.东西边的州))
? The Millners, they had this
unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase
and it was- it w- …..Oh my God, Chi Chi!

Monica:Uh, no. Loosely translated(粗略地翻译一下,He didn’t
reply your weichat
message, loosely translated, he doesn’t like
you.‘We should do this again’ means ‘You will never see me naked’.

Opening Credits

Rachel:Since when?

[Scene: Chandler and Joey’s, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a
part.]

Joey:Since always. It’s like dating language. Y’know, like ‘It’s not
you’ means ‘It isyou’.

Chandler: “So how does it feel knowing you’re about to die?”

Chandler:Or ‘You’re such a nice guy’ means ‘I’m gonna be dating
leather-wearing alcoholics (皮革族的醉汉)and complaining about
them to you’.

Joey: “Warden(n.[‘wɔrdn]the person in charge of a prison) , in
five minutes my pain will be over. But you’ll have to live with the
knowledge that you sent an honest man to die.”

Phoebe:Or, or,y’know, um, ‘I think we should see other people’ means
‘Ha, ha, I already am’.

Chandler: Hey, that was really good!

Rachel:And everybody knows this?

Joey: Thanks! Let’s keep going.

Joey:Yeah.Cushions the blow (给垫着三三四四,减缓打击。His hat
helped to cushion the blow.)
.

Chandler: Okay. “So. Whaddya 缩写 want from me, Damone, huh?”

Chandler:Yeah, it’s like when you’re a kid, and your parents put
your dog to sleep(put to sleep:杀死|使入睡)
, and they tell you it
went off to live on some farm.

Joey: “I just wanna go back to my cell(PRISON 监狱 a small room
in a prison or police station where prisoners are kept. ‘Cause in
my cell, I can smoke.”

Ross: That’s funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did,
uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.

Chandler: “Smoke away.不停地吸烟,用吸烟打发(时光)

Monica:Uh, Ross.

(Joey takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.  He fumbles and
drops the lighter.  Then he lights a cigarett, takes a drag, and
coughs.)

Ross:What? Wh-hello? The Millners’ farm in Connecticut? The
Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and
rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w-.Oh my God, Chi Chi!

Chandler: I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell
alone.

译文:嗨,各位!

嘿, 菲比! 嗨!

嘿. 哦,哦,你的约会怎么着?

不是很好,他送自身到大巴,然后说:”大家相应再来一遍!”

哦,喔.

怎么啦?他说要再来二回?那不是很好啊?

不,

错略来说她说大家应有再来三回代表你将不可能再观察裸体的小编

何以时候那样子的?

直接都以那样,那是约会用语.就好像…”难点不是出在您”代表”正是你”

”你真好”代表”小编要和皮革族的醉汉约会

下一场向您抱怨.”

还应该有还应该有,”大家该试试外人”

意味着”笔者已和外人约会了”咱们都懂?

对,那是善意的鬼话

没错,

就好像家长使孩子的狗安乐死时,他们会说,它跑到外人家农场去住了

真有趣

而是本身爸妈是真正

把大家的狗送到外人农场去养了

呃, 罗斯

Mina家在康乃Dick州的农场

米纳家

他们家的农场非常的屌

有马还应该有可供追逐的兔子…

噢,我的天,芝芝

Joey: What?

Opening Credits

Chandler: Relax your hand!

[Scene:Chandler and Joey’s,Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a
part.]


Chandler:“So how does it feel knowing you’re about to die?”

(Joey lets his wrist go limp.)

Joey:“Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you’ll have
to live with the knowledge(你要驾驭,Live with the knowledge that
your character is your destiny.)
that you sent an honest man to die.”

Chandler: Not so much!

Chandler:Hey, that was really good!

Joey: Whoah!

Joey:Thanks!Let’s keep going.

Chandler: Hey!

Chandler:Okay.”So. What did ya want from me, Damone, huh?”

Joey: Hey!

Joey:“I just wanna go back to my cell. ‘Cause in my cell, I can
smoke.”

Chandler: Alright, now try taking a puff.

Chandler:“Smoke away.”

(Joey tries and visibly winces.)

(Joey takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.  He fumbles and
drops the lighter.  Thenhe lights a cigarette, takes a drag, and
coughs.)

Chandler: Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me.

Chandler:I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell
alone.

Joey: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.

Joey:What?

Chandler: It’s fine, it’s fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or
not? Here.

Chandler:Relax your hand!

(Joey reluctantly gives him the cigarette.)

(Joey lets his wrist go limp.)

Chandler: Don’t think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing
that’s been missing from your hand. When you’re holding it, you feel
right. You feel complete.

Chandler:Not so much!

Joey: Y’miss it?

Joey:Whoah!

Chandler: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.)
Oh.. my.. God. (He continues to smoke.)

Chandler: Hey!

[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]

Joey:Hey!

Monica: No, no, no. They say it’s the same as the distance from the
tip of a guy’s thumb to the tip of his index finger.

Chandler:Alright, now try taking a puff(一口烟,也可能有泡芙的情致。I
took a puff on the cigarette and
started coughing..

(The guys stretch out their fingers.)

(Joey tries and visibly winces.)

Joey: That’s ridiculous!

译文:“知道自个儿不久江湖有什么感想?”

“华顿,我的切肤之痛就要五分钟内清除

但您得接受杀死了多少个好人的悲苦!”

哟,表演得真好!

是啊? 谢了,大家继续吧

好,“你要作者如何做,

迪默,嗯?”

自己只想回到笔者的拘系所内,因为如此,作者技艺够抽烟

你就在这里抽吧.

本身想那正是迪默自个儿叁个在牢房里抽烟的来由

什么?

手放容易,手段自然点

别太过火

-哦! 嘿!

-嘿!

好, 吐口烟

Ross: Can I use.. either thumb?

Chandler:Alright..okay. No. Give it to me.

Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don’t tell me, don’t
tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee
black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I’m getting pretty good at this!

Joey:No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.

All: Yeah. Yeah, excellent.

Chandler:It’s fine,it’s fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or
not? Here.

Rachel: (leaving to serve others) Good for me!

(Joey reluctantly gives him the cigarette.)

(The gang swaps all the drinks for what they ordered as Phoebe enters. 
She sits down without saying hi.)

Chandler:Don’t think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing
that’s been missing from your hand. When you’re holding it, you feel
right. You feel complete.

Joey: Y’okay, Phoebe?

Joey:Y’miss it?

Phoebe: Yeah- no- I’m just- it’s, I haven’t worked- It’s my bank.

Chandler:Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.)
Oh.. my.. God. (He continues to smoke.)

Monica: What did they do to you?

译文:好啊,把它给小编来

不,小编无法给你烟

无视的,你毕竟想不想演这几个剧中人物?

好,

别把它正是是支烟,把它当成是你想念多时的东西。你拿着它的时候

您以为自在您以为知足

您很想它

没那么严重.

抽烟

噢,爽呀!

Phoebe: It’s nothing, it’s just- Okay. I’m going through my mail,
and I open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT-

[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]

Ross: Easy.

Monica:No, no, no.They say it’s the same as the distance from the
tip of a guy’s thumb to the tip of his index
finger(拇指指尖到人口指尖的距离).

Phoebe: – and there’s five hundred extra dollars in my account.

(The guys stretch out their fingers.)

Chandler: Oh, Satan’s minions at work again…

Joey:That’s ridiculous!

Phoebe: Yes, ’cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.

Ross:Can I use..either thumb?

Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!

Rachel:(carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don’t tell me, don’t
tell me! (Starts handing them out.)
Decaf(脱因咖啡)cappuccino(卡布其诺)for Joey..Coffee black..
Late.. And an iced tea. I’m getting pretty good at this!

Phoebe: It’s not mine, I didn’t earn it, if I kept it, it would be
like stealing.

All:Yeah. Yeah,excellent.

Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!

Rachel:(leaving to serve others)Good for me(我好棒。Good for
you,你好棒)
!

Phoebe: Okay. Okay, let’s say I bought a really great pair of shoes.
Do you know what I’d hear, with every step I took? ‘Not-mine. Not-mine.
Not-mine.’ And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping-
‘Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine’…

译文:他们说和拇指尖到食指尖的离开同样

那太荒唐了

不论是哪个姆指都行?

别告诉作者…无咖啡因卡布其诺是乔依的,纯咖啡,拿铁,和冰茶

本身以往早已很在行了。

对, 对, 太棒了

本身真厉害。

子莯青青,多年国有集团工小编,百折不挠外语学习,不断探寻共享新的就学方法。喜欢请关注。

Monica: We’re with you. We got it.

(Chandler leans over the back of the couch out of sight.)

Phoebe: Okay. I’d- just- I’d never be able to enjoy it. It would be
like this giant karmic debt.

Rachel: Chandler, what are you doing?

Monica: (puling him up) Hey. Whaddya doing?

(Chandler tries to shrug nonchalantly but eventually he has to exhale a
mouthful of smoke.)

All: Oh! Oh, God!

Ross: What is this?!

Chandler: I’m smoking. I’m smoking, I’m smoking.

Phoebe: Oh, I can’t believe you! You’ve been so good, for three
years!

Chandler: And this- is my reward!

Ross: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went
through the last time you quit.

Chandler: Okay, so this time I won’t quit!

All: Ohhh! Put it out!

Chandler: All right! I’m putting it out, I’m putting it out. (He
drops it in Phoebe’s coffee.)

Phoebe: Oh, no! I- I can’t drink this now!

Monica: Alright. I’m gonna go change, I’ve got a date.

Rachel: This Alan again? How’s it goin’?

Monica: ‘S’going pretty good, y’know? It’s nice, and, we’re having
fun.

Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?

Monica: Let’s see, today’s Monday… Never.

All: Oh, come on! Come on!

Monica: No. Not after what happened with Steve.

Chandler: What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was
schhexy!.. Sorry.

Monica: Look, I don’t even know how I feel about him yet. Just give
me a chance to figure that out.

Rachel: Well, then can we meet him?

Monica: Nope. Schhorry.

[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are at work.]

Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a
guy home, and within five minutes they’re all over him. I mean, they’re
like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.

Paula: Listen. As someone who’s seen more than her fair share of bad
beef, I’ll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they’re
your friends, they’re just looking out after you.

Monica: I know. I just wish that once, I’d bring a guy home that
they actually liked.

Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little
slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..

[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony,
Phoebe is absent.]

Joey: Let it go, Ross.

Ross: Yeah, well, you didn’t know Chi Chi.

Monica: Do you all promise?

All: Yeah! We promise! We’ll be good!

Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?

(Chandler makes a ‘Cross my heart’ sign.  It starts to rain and he taps
on the window.)

Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to
stay outside!

(Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an
umbrella.)

(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a
letter without saying hi.)

Ross: Hey, Pheebs.

Phoebe: ‘Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our
error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We’re
sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you’ll accept this- (Searches in
her purse) –football phone as our free gift.’ Do you believe this?!
Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!

Rachel: What bank is this?

(The intercom buzzes.)

Monica: Hey. It’s him. (On the intercom) Who is it?

Alan: (on the intercom) It’s Alan.

Joey: (shouting to Chandler) Chandler! He’s here!

(Chandler comes in, dripping wet.)

Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how
much you all like me.

(She opens the door and Alan enters.)

Monica: Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan.

Alan: Hi.

All: Hi, Alan.

Alan: I’ve heard schho much about all you guyschh!

(Everyone laughs.)

[Time lapse, Alan is leaving.]

Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. I’ll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to
all) Okay. Okay, let’s let the Alan-bashing begin. Who’s gonna take the
first shot, hmm?

(Silence.)

Monica: C’mon!

Ross: …I’ll go. Let’s start with the way he kept picking at- no,
I’m sorry, I can’t do this, can’t do this. We loved him.

All: Loved him! Yeah! He’s great!

Monica: Wait a minute! We’re talking about someone that I’m going
out with?

All: Yeah!

Rachel: And did you notice…? (She spreads her thumb and index
finger.)

The Guys: (reluctantly) Yeah.

Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.

Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!

Ross: …What shoe?

Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. ‘There was a crooked man, Who had a
crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a… while…’

(Dubious pause.)

Ross: …So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all
future boyfriends will be measured.

Rachel: What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be,
y’know, it.

Monica: Really!

Chandler: Oh, yeah. I’d marry him just for his David Hasselhof
impression alone. You know I’m gonna be doing that at parties, right?
(Does the impression)

Ross: You know what I like most about him, though?

All: What?

Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself.

All: Yeah…

Commercial Break

[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and
Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]

Monica: Hi.. how was the game?

Ross: Well..

All: WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!

Monica: Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?

Joey: Alan.

Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny
cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of
Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-…

Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team.

Chandler: Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or
two about softball..

Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D’you ever think that Alan is
maybe.. sometimes..

Ross: What?

Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?

Rachel: Well, no. That’s impossible. You can never be too Alan.

Ross: Yeah, it’s his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore.

Chandler: I personally could have a gallon of Alan.

[Scene: A street, Phoebe walks up to a homeless person (Lizzie) she
knows.]

Phoebe: Hey, Lizzie.

Lizzie: Hey, Weird Girl.

Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup.

Lizzie: Did you pick out the vowels?

Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. ‘Cause, y’know, “sometimes y”.
Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)

Lizzie: Saltines?

Phoebe: No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football
phone?

Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my
God, there’s really money in here.

Phoebe: I know.

Lizzie: Weird Girl, what are you doing?

Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don’t want it.

Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.

Phoebe: Oh, that’s fine, no.

Lizzie: Would you like my tin-foil hat?

Phoebe: No. ‘Cause you need that. No, it’s okay, thanks.

Lizzie: Please, let me do something.

Phoebe: Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we’re even. Okay?

Lizzie: Okay.

Phoebe: Okay.

[Scene: Chandler’s office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk
drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener,
and takes some breath spray.  He types for a little while, opens the
drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette.   While not
paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a
squirt of air freshener and gags.]

[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]

Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don’t wanna pretzel?

Phoebe: No, I’m fine.

Lizzie: (leaves) See ya.

(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)

Phoebe: Huh!

[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is telling everyone about her discovery.]

Ross: A thumb?!

(Phoebe nods.)

All: Eww!

Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just
floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!

Chandler: Well, maybe it’s a contest, y’know? Like, collect all
five?

Phoebe: Does, um, anyone wanna see?

All: Nooo!

(Chandler lights a cigarette.)

All: Oh, hey, don’t do that! Cut it out!

Rachel: It’s worse than the thumb!

Chandler: Hey, this is so unfair!

Monica: Oh, why is it unfair?

Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey’s constant
knuckle-cracking isn’t annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing
every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean,
what the hell is that thing? …I accept all those flaws, why can’t you
accept me for this?

(An awkward silence ensues.)

Joey: …Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?

Rachel: Well, I-I could live without it.

Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when
Phoebe chews her hair?

(Phoebe spits out her hair.)

Ross: Oh, now, don’t listen to him, Pheebs, I think it’s endearing.

Joey: Oh, (Imitating Ross) “you do, do you”?

(Monica laughs and snorts.)

Ross: You know, there’s nothing wrong with speaking correctly.

Rachel: “Indeed there isn’t”… I should really get back to work.

Phoebe: Yeah, ’cause otherwise someone might get what they actually
ordered.

Rachel: Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.

(They degenerate into bickering and Chandler happily starts to smoke,
undisturbed.)

[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are working.]

Monica: Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?

Paula: No.

Monica: Okay.. Well, I’m going out with a guy my friends all really
like.

Paula: Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a
cow got through!

Monica: Can you believe it? …Y’know what? I just don’t feel the
thing
. I mean, they feel the thing, I don’t feel the thing.

Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that’s
how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!

Monica: I know.. it’s gonna be really hard.

Paula: Well, he’s a big boy, he’ll get over it.

Monica: No, he’ll be fine. It’s the other five I’m worried about.

[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his
smoking.]

Joey: Do you have any respect for your body?

Ross: Don’t you realise what you’re-you’re doing to yourself?

Chandler: Hey, y’know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer
and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking
is cool, and you know it.

Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It’s Alan, he
wants to speak to you.

Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what’s up!
Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then.
Well, yeah, now. Well, it’s not that big- ..well, that’s true,.. Gee,
y’know, no-one- no-one’s ever put it like that before. Well, okay,
thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)

Rachel: (to Ross, who has wandered up) God, he’s good.

Ross: If only he were a woman.

Rachel: Yeah.

(They give each other a dubious look.)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, everyond except Monica and Joey is
watching Lambchop.]

Chandler: Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my
hand for thirty years it’d be talking too.

Ross: Okay. I think it’s time to change somebody’s nicotine patch.
(Does so.)

Monica: (entering) Hey. Where’s Joey?

Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you
think that was wrong?

Rachel: I think he’s across the hall.

Monica: Thanks. (Goes to fetch him.)

Ross: (finishing changing Chandler’s nicotine patch) There y’go.

Chandler: (deadpan) Ooh, I’m alive with pleasure now.

Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?..
Pheebs?

Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?

Ross: Hey, I might!

Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y’know, those stupid soda people gave me seven
thousand dollars for the thumb.

All: You’re kidding. Oh my God.

Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. …What is up
with the universe?!

Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower)
What’s going on?

Monica: Nothing. I just think it’s nice when we’re all here
together.

Joey: Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear..

Rachel: Uh, Joey..

Joey: Oh, God! (Hurriedly closes his legs.)

Monica: (turns off the TV) Okay..

All: Oh! That was Lambchop!

Monica: Please, guys, we have to talk.

Phoebe: Wait, wait, I’m getting a deja vu…no, I’m not.

Monica: Alright, we have to talk.

Phoebe: There it is!

Monica: Okay. It’s-it’s about Alan. There’s something that you
should know. I mean, there’s really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I’ve
decided to break up with Alan.

(They all gasp and clutch each other.)

Ross: Is there somebody else?

Monica: No, nononono.. it’s just.. things change. People change.

Rachel: We didn’t change..

Joey: So that’s it? It’s over? Just like that?

Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care
about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)

Monica: Look, I- I could go on pretending-

Joey: Okay!

Monica: -but that wouldn’t be fair to me, it wouldn’t be fair to
Alan- It wouldn’t be fair to you!

Ross: Who-who wants fair? Y’know, I just want things back. Y’know,
the way they were.

Monica: I’m sorry..

Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, she’s sorry! I feel better!

Rachel: (tearful) I just can’t believe this! I mean, with the
holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-

Monica: I’ll meet somone else. There’ll be other Alans.

All: Oh, yeah! Right!

Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay?

Ross: Hey hey, we’ll be fine. We’re just gonna need a little time.

Monica: (dubious) I understand.

[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]

Alan: Wow.

Monica: I’m, I’m really sorry.

Alan: Yeah, I’m sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little
relieved.

Monica: Relieved?

Alan: Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can’t stand
your friends.

Closing Credits

[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, everyone is mopping around and eating ice
cream.]

Rachel: Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?..
That was fun.

Ross: Yeah. He could row like a viking.

Monica: (entering) Hi.

All: Mmm.

Ross: So how’d it go?

Monica: Oh, y’know..

Phoebe: Did he mention us?

Monica: He said he’s really gonna miss you guys. (dubious look)

Ross: You had a rough day, huh.. c’mere. (She sits down and Ross
strokes her forehead.)

Chandler: …That’s it. I’m getting cigarettes.

All: No no no!

Chandler: (leaving) I don’t care, I don’t care! Game’s over! I’m
weak! I’ve gotta smoke! I’ve gotta have the smoke!

Phoebe: (shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I’ll give
you seven thousand dollars!

Chandler: (returns) Yeah, alright.

End

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