Mr. Geller: …And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I
thank God ‘Our Little Harmonica’ doesn’t seem to have that problem.
(Susan enters holding a drink.)
Carol: Yes, and she’s very supportive.
Ross: Okay, that’s great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I’m-
[Scene: Barry’s office,Rachel is doing her makeup in the mirror on
Barry’s lamp as Barry enters.]
Barry:Sorry aboutthat. So. What have you been up to?
Rachel:Oh, notmuch. I-I got a job.
Rachel:Why are- whyare you so tanned?
Barry:Oh, I, uh- Iwent toAruba.
Rachel:Oh no. Youwent on our honeymoon alone?
Barry:No. I wentwith, uh.. Now, this may hurt.
Barry:No! (ToRachel) I went with Mindy.
What have you been up
Rachel:Mindy?! Mymaid of honour, Mindy?!
Barry:Yeah, well,uh, we’re kind of a thing now.
Rachel:Oh! Well,um.. (Grabs his forehand) You’ve got plugs!
Barry:Careful!They haven’t quite taken yet.
maid of honour：伴娘，I’ll be themaid of honour of my best friend.
we’re kind of a thing now: 我们是认真的。
only accepts a two-pronged plug.
Rachel:And you’vegot lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in
Barry:Not for her.Listen, I really wanted to thank you.
Barry:See, about amonth ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I’ve
ever wanted to hurt anyone inmy life. And I’m an orthodontist.
Barry:You know,you were right? I mean, I thought we were happy. We
weren’t happy. But withMindy, now I’m happy. Spit.
contact lenses：隐形近视镜。I am near-sighted, and instead of wearing
near-sighted glasses, I am wearing contact lenses.
Rachel:Anyway, um,(Gets the ring out of her purse.) I guess this
belongs to you. And thank youfor giving it to me.
Barry:Well, thankyou for giving it back.
(Barry and Rachel lookat each other.)
[Scene: Carol’s OB/GYN,they’re still arguing about what to name the
Susan:Oh, please!What’s wrong with Helen?
Ross:HelenGeller? I don’t think so.
Carol:Hello? It’snot gonna be Helen Geller.
Carol:No, I meanit’s not Geller.
Ross:What, it’sgonna be Helen Willick?
Carol:No,actually, um, we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch.
Ross:Well, wait aminute, wha- why is she in the title?
Susan:It’s my babytoo.
Ross:Oh,’s’funny, really? Um, I don’t remember you making any sperm.
Susan:Yeah, and weall know what a challenge that is!
Carol:All right,you two, stop it!
Ross:No no no,she gets a credit, hey, I’m in there too.
Carol:Ross. You’renot actually suggesting Helen
Willick-Bunch-Geller? ‘Cause I think that borderson child abuse.
Ross:Of coursenot, I’m… suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch.
Susan:Oh, no,nonononono, you see what he’s doing? He knows no-one’s
gonna say all thosenames, so they’ll wind up calling her Geller, then he
gets his way!
Ross:My way?!You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the
ways I ever imagined thismoment in my life being, this is not my way-
y’know what? Uh, um, this is toohard. I’m not, I can’t do-
Dr. Oberman:(entering)Knock knock!How are we today? Any nausea?
All:Yeah. Yeah.A little.
Dr. Oberman:Well, I wasjust wondering about the mother-to-be, but..
thanks for sharing. (To Carol) Uh,lie back..
Ross:You- uh-y’know what, I’m gonna go. I don’t- I don’t think I can
be involved in thisparticular thing right now.
(He turns to go, but thesound of the sonogram catches hes ear. He
returns and stares at it.)
Ross:Oh my God.
borders on Korea.近似于: This kind of riskborders on insanity.
abuse.滥用: an abuse of power.
wind up:结束。Soon I will wind up my visit to Egypt。
[Scene: Monica andRachel’s apartment, everyone is watching the tape of
the sonogram. Rachel is on the phone.]
Ross:Well? Isn’tthat amazing?
Joey:What are wesupposed to be seeing here?
Chandler:I don’t know,but.. I think it’s about to attack
Phoebe:You know, ifyou tilt your head to the left, and relax your
eyes, it kinda looks like an oldpotato.
Ross:Then don’tdo that, alright?
Ross:(walks overto where Monica is standing) Monica. What do you
Ross:Wh- are youwelling up?
Ross:You are,you’re welling up.
Ross:You’re gonnabe an aunt.
Monica:(pushes himand starts to cry) Oh shut up!
Rachel:(on phone)Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it’s Rachel. Yeah, I’m fine. I-I
saw Barry today. Oh, yeah,yeah he-he told me. No, no, it’s okay. I hope
you two are very happy, I reallydo. Oh, oh, and Mind, y’know, if-if
everything works out, and you guys end upgetting married and having
kids- and everything- I just hope they have his oldhairline and your old
nose. (Slams the phone down.) (To everyone) Okay, I knowit was a cheap
shot, but I feelsomuch better now.
Tilt：倾斜She tilted her head back so that she could look at him.
Well up:热泪盈眶。I saw her eyes well up with tears.
cheap shot：恶意中伤；卑鄙手段。This is just another cheap shot from
- 第一时半刻间获得本人的享受内容 – 完整的字幕，翻译，解释
Barry: Oh, that’s great.
Phoebe: Y’know, it’s even worse when you’re twins.
Carol: Marty’s still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-
Monica: I’m sorry, why is this girl going to call me?
Monica: That’s because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do
no wrong. Y’see, he’s the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony
before I was born.
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Ross: (standing outside the door)…..Hi.
Mr. Geller: Don’t listen to your mother. You’re independent, and you
always have been! Even when you were a kid… and you were chubby, and
you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your
room, and your puzzles…
(Barry and Rachel look at each other.)
Carol: Ross? That opens my cervix. (He drops it in horror.)
Chandler: Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who… my
parents actually preferred.
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word ‘dumped’. Chances are
he’s gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y’know, so you should
try not to look too terrific, I know it’ll be hard. Or, y’know, uh,
hey!, I’ll go down there, and I’ll give Barry back his ring, and you can
go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN…
(Marsha extis and Ross waves Carol into the exhibit.)
Joey: Yeah, calm down. You don’t see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly
every time they come.
Monica: Easy Rach, we’ll find it. (To all) Won’t we!
Barry: C’mon in.
Monica: (trying desperately to change the subject) So, Ross, what’s
going on with you? Any stories? (Digs her elbow into his hand.) No news,
no little anecdotes to share with the folks?
Ross: How could I forget?
[Scene: Museum of Prehistoric History, Ross and a co-worker (Marsha)
are setting up an exhibit which includes some mannequins of cave
Chandler: Boys? We’re going in.
Marsha: Well, she has issues.
Ross: (picks up a surgical instrament and mimes a duck with it) Quack,
Rachel: Uh.. okay, sure! Thanks! (She hands him the broom and sits
[Scene: Carol’s OB/GYN, Carol is waiting.]
Carol: Dr. Oberman.
Ross: -she, of course, she- uh- familiar with our.. special situation?
Barry: See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I’ve ever
wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I’m an orthodontist.
Ross: Well, uh, uh, I don’t know, okay, okay, how about with the, uh,
with the baby’s name?
Barry: Yeah, well, uh, we’re kind of a thing now.
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good
shake. So, uh, we’re just waiting for…?
Ross: ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-
Ross: Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a
thing for you, didn’t she?
Phoebe: Monica- Hi! Um, Monica, you’re scaring me. I mean, you’re like,
you’re like all chaotic and twirly. And not-not in a good way.
Rachel: I’m just cleaning up.
Chandler: (looking out the window) Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!
Rachel: So, got any advice? Y’know, as someone who’s recently been-
Rachel: And you’ve got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your
Phoebe: (while everyone else is stunned) Ooh! I found it!
Monica: Am not!
Monica: (taking a drink from Joey) Are you through with that?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah!
Chandler and Joey: Oh! Yeah!
Monica: No Mom, I don’t have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, we’re having spaghetti! That’s…. easy.
Ross: You are, you’re welling up.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are
watching Three’s Company.]
Ross: Anyway.. um.. (Starts to sweep.) So, you- uh- you nervous about
[Scene: Carol’s OB/GYN, they’re still arguing about what to name the
Rachel: Oh, you’ve got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so
Barry: Oh, I, uh- I went to Aruba.
Rachel: Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?
[Scene Central Perk, everyone’s there.]
Carol: No, I mean it’s not Geller.
Phoebe: Yeah, it’s beautiful.
Mr. Geller: I’m not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding…
but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!
[Scene: Barry’s office, Rachel is doing her makeup in the mirror on
Barry’s lamp as Barry enters.]
Ross: No, it’s good, it is good, it’s just that- mm- doesn’t she seem a
Susan: Look at that.
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life…. We ran into her
parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
Ross: (entering) Sorry I’m late, I was stuck at work. There was this big
dinosaur.. thing.. anyway.
(Joey starts to eat the rest of the lasagne and everyone turns and
stares at him.)
Carol: I’m pregnant.
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he’s doing? He knows no-one’s
gonna say all those names, so they’ll wind up calling her Geller, then
he gets his way!
Chandler: Oh, I think this is the episode of Three’s Company where
there’s some kind of misunderstanding.
Chandler: I dunno, but.. I think it’s about to attack the Enterprise.
Carol: No, actually, um, we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch.
Dr. Oberman: (entering) Knock knock!How are we today? Any nausea?
Monica: (pushes him and starts to cry) Oh shut up!
Phoebe: No, look, don’t touch that!
Barry: Yeah! It’s fine, it’s fine. Robbie’s gonna be here for hours.
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening
act, y’know? I mean it’s like the stand-up comedian you have to sit
through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like ‘Gee,
that glacier’s getting kinda close.’ See?
Joey: (pause)….Are we still talking about sex?
Joey: Yeah, right!…….Y’serious?
Rachel: Mindy?! My maid of honour, Mindy?!
Mrs. Geller: Mmmm!
Chandler: Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the
flatness of a child’s pillow.
Ross: D’ya.. uh.. d’ya need any help?
Ross: Got me.
Ross: Carol’s pregnant.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s apartment, everyone is watching the tape of
the sonogram. Rachel is on the phone.]
Dr. Oberman: Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but..
thanks for sharing. (To Carol) Uh, lie back..
Monica: You didn’t.
Ross: Well… you never know. How’s, um.. how’s the family?
Chandler: I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done.
Marsha: Speaking of issues, isn’t that your ex-wife?
Mrs. Geller: Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the
Ross: Of course not, I’m… suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch.
[Time Lapse, everyone is now eating.]
Chandler: Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster!
Rachel: Oh! Well, um.. (Grabs his forehand) You’ve got plugs!
Ross: Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?
Marsha: He’s out banging other women over the head with a club, while
she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!
Carol: Sorry. You look good too.
Rachel: Oh, like I wasn’t dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it
back to him… ‘Hi Barry! Remember me? I’m the girl in the veil who
stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!’ Oh God and now
I’m gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so
Ross: Well, y’know, these people are pros. They know what they’re doing,
they take their time, they get the job done.
Barry: (answering the intercom) Be right there. (To Robbie and Rachel)
Be back in a sec.
Chandler: Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?
Monica: (welling up) Mm-hmm.
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Monica: Whose little ball of paper is this?!
Rachel: Has anybody seen my engagement ring?
Rachel: I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in
the kitchen with…
Ross: Then don’t do that, alright?
(Stunned silence ensues.)
Ross: Why- why are you here, Carol?
Monica: Ross, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please?
Susan: Oh, please! What’s wrong with Helen?
Carol: A lesbian?
Ross: Well? Isn’t that amazing?
Rachel: I’m- uh- I’m okay… You look great!
Ross: (walks over to where Monica is standing)Monica. Whaddya think?
Rachel: (looks at the lasagne and realizes something) Ohhhhh, don’t be
Ross: Must pee. (Goes to pee.)
Phoebe: She is so great! I miss her.
Monica: No it’s not.
Mrs. Geller: They all had a thing for him.
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean
up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
Rachel: Anyway, um, (Gets the ring out of her purse.) I guess this
belongs to you. And thank you for giving it to me.
Ross: I- I think they’re great! I, I really do.
Ross: So, um- so how’s this, uh, how’s this gonna work? Y’know, with us?
Y’know, when, like, important decisions have to be made?
Chandler: Now, Monica, you know that’s not how you look for an
engagement ring in a lasagne…
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I’m
not comfortable with it, I don’t have to be involved.. basically it’s
entirely up to me.
Ross: What, it’s gonna be Helen Willick?
Rachel: Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!
Phoebe:…Then I’ve already seen this one! (Turns off the TV.)
(He turns to go, but the sound of the sonogram catches hes ear. He
returns and stares at it.)
Joey: Your folks are really that bad, huh?
Ross: (trying to ignore her) No. No.
Ross: My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways
I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y’know
what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I’m not, I can’t do-
Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, Jason Greenstein’s gagging.
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were
you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I
think it might take some of the heat off me.
Chandler: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and
then I realised I didn’t need it, so I balled it up and… (sees that
Monica is glaring at him) …now I wish I was dead.
Chandler: The problem is, though, after the concert’s over, no matter
how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian
again, y’know? I mean, we’re in the car, we’re fighting traffic…
basically just trying to stay awake.
Phoebe: She’s a waitress.
Rachel: Oh God, oh God, oh God oh God oh God oh God…. (Starts to look
under the couch cushions.)
Ross: Aw, Mom…
Rachel: Oh no. You went on our honeymoon alone?
Monica: I gave you one job! (Starts to examin the lasagne through the
bottom of the glass pan.)
Barry: Sorry about that. So. What have you been up to?
All: Yeah. Yeah. A little.
Mrs. Geller: Well, they don’t have to know that… (She starts to fluff
the same pillow Monica fluffed multiple times earlier.)
Chandler: You don’t get a lot of ‘doy’ these days…
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in
cooking, or food, or…. I don’t know. Anyway, I told her you had a
Ross: I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I’m still gonna be a
(As Barry exits Robbie stares at Rachel.)
Monica: What you guys don’t understand is, for us, kissing is as
important as any part of it.
Phoebe: Yeah. We don’t speak. She’s like this high-powered, driven
Susan: It’s my baby too.
Ross: You- uh- y’know what, I’m gonna go. I don’t- I don’t think I can
be involved in this particular thing right now.
[Scene: Central Park, everyone’s there.]
Carol: As in my grandmother.
Ross: Yes, yes!
Barry: So, how ya doin?
Ross: Yeah, and-and it’s not that we don’t like the comedian, it’s
that-that… that’s not why we bought the ticket.
Monica: Look , I’m sorry, guys, I just don’t wanna give them any more
ammunition than they already have.
Carol: Hello? It’s not gonna be Helen Geller.
Ross: You’re gonna be an aunt.
Joey: …..Well, this is still ruined, right?
Rachel: (hesitates) Are you sure?
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can’t change your parents,… boy, if
you could- (To Ross) -I’d want yours.
Mrs. Geller: Nothing! It’s an expression.
Rachel: Oh! Man, I never thought I’d be here.. (She leans back onto his
Rachel: Remember when we were in high school together?
Rachel: Oh.. a little..
Ross: Does she.
(Carol, Ross’s ex-wife, has entered behind them and is standing outstide
Rachel: Why are- why are you so tanned?
Carol: All right, you two, stop it!
Mrs. Geller: (To Monica) And you knew about this?!
Rachel: You’re twins?
Barry: No! (To Rachel) I went with Mindy.
Ross: Thank you!
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there’s
a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I
realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol
and me, and, so, well, here’s the deal. Carol’s a lesbian. She’s living
with a woman named Susan. She’s pregnant with my child, and she and
Susan are going to raise the baby.
Carol: Give me a ‘for instance’.
Rachel: Oh, I am sorry…
Rachel: So what are you gonna do?
Monica: (puts down the lasagne) I just… can’t do it.
[Scene, Monica and Rachel’s, Monica and Ross are pouring wine for their
Barry: Not for her. Listen, I really wanted to thank you.
Carol: -if it’s a boy, Minnie if it’s a girl.
Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Barry: Well, thank you for giving it back.
Barry: You know, you were right? I mean, I thought we were happy. We
weren’t happy. But with Mindy, now I’m happy. Spit.
Monica: What’s that supposed to mean?
Rachel: I dumped him.
Rachel: (on phone) Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it’s Rachel. Yeah, I’m fine. I-I
saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it’s okay. I hope
you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y’know, if-if
everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having
kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your
old nose. (Slams the phone down.) (To everyone) Okay, I know it was a
cheap shot, but I feel so much better now.
Ross: Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waves) How about I’ll, uh, catch up with
you in the Ice Age.
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Ross: …How long was I in there?
Carol: Ross. You’re not actually suggesting Helen Willick-Bunch-Geller?
‘Cause I think that borders on child abuse.
Robbie: Me. (Spits.)
Ross: No no no, she gets a credit, hey, I’m in there too.
Phoebe: You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your
eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato.
Ross: Yeah. (They go to the kitchen.)
Phoebe: She’s already fluffed that pillow… Monica, you know, you’ve
already fluffed that- (Monica glares at her.) -but, it’s fine!
Ross: Me either… (He pulls up a stool so that he doesn’t have to move
Marsha: Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!
Joey: What are we supposed to be seeing here?
Ross: ‘S’funny, um, uh, we agreed we’d spend the rest of our lives
together. Things change, roll with the punches. I believe Julia’s on the
(Monica starts to fluff a pillow.)
Ross: Oh my God.
Rachel: A lot.
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who… stands erect… So what’s new?
Ross: …As in Mouse?
Monica: W-w-wh-… wha-… w-w-w-…
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the
stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people
are satisfied with staying where they are- I’m telling you, these are
the people who never get cancer.
Joey: Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.
Chandler: What does she do?
Monica: Wow. That is not a happy hi.
Rachel: Oh, not much. I-I got a job.
Barry: No. I went with, uh.. Now, this may hurt.
Ross: Helen Geller? I don’t think so.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin’s daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a
snack) Mmm! What’s that curry taste?
Monica: Chandler, you’re an only child, right? You don’t have any of
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right
about now. (He enters.)
(Rachel enters from her room.)
Ross: Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse. Um, how about, um..
how about Julia?
[Scene Barry’s office, Barry is working on patient, Robbie, as Rachel
Rachel: I mean, didn’t you think you were just gonna meet somone, fall
in love- and that’d be it? (Ross gazes at her.) ..Ross?
Ross: Wh- are you welling up?
Monica: What does she mean by ‘involved’?
Rachel: The lights, please..
Joey: Alright, when’d’ya have it on last?
Ross: You look great. I, uh… I hate that.
Barry: Yeah, well..
Rachel: All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. (They all start
Carol: I know.
Phoebe: Doy! Probably right before she lost it!
Ross: Oh, ‘s’funny, really? Um, I don’t remember you making any sperm.
[Scene: Carol’s OB/GYN, they’re talking about how this is going to
Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise
next time you’re gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that
Barry: Careful! They haven’t quite taken yet.